The Ballad of Pirate Jane, the Scourge of BP

For Nemea…and Theresa!

Oh, she’s a Pirate and she’s OK
She sails all night and she sleeps all day
She puts on women’s clothing [sic]
And she hangs around in bars.

She slays and robs, she loves your sobs
As she runs you through and through
She dances the Fandango
And wants man meat in her stew

She’s after Tony Hayward
She plans to kill him slow
For wot he did to leeward
In the Gulf of Mexico

He poked his thing where he shouldn’t have
In the deep blue sea
Causin’ poison in the ocean
Where once it was pretty

She’s going to cut his thing off
And nail it to the mast
For bein’ such a jerkoff
A Wanker and an ass!

So ‘ere’s to all good Women
And blokes who love them so
And blokes who love each other
And blokes in Mexico

Inspired by The Lumberjack Song, and Monty Python gracefully thanked

Words: Edward Nilges
Art: Edward Nilges


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