Action Jackson


Ladies! If the man of the house has a life-threatening illness and reacts to it like Wellington at Waterloo or Frederick the Great with a wasp in his arse…

Remain calm…

Even if he’s listening to French Foreign Legion songs or British marches, repairing the loo, reading great whacking books on medicine and philosophy, making to-do lists and in general being quite a Nuisance.

Even if he acts like Mr Spock and speaks in syllogisms, unfeelingly and unemotionally, the old stiff upper lip. “I say, J.O., jolly frightening out heah! Nonsense, dear old boy!”

From Will Courtenay, “Dying to Be Men”, a book on men’s health (Routledge 2011):

“Being intellectual, logical, and rational are highly valued coping mechanisms among men. Although these coping mechanisms can create problems for men in their interpersonal relationships, they are an asset when a man is learning about his health.”

“Men engage in more action-oriented, problem solving and goal setting than women. This also holds true for men who are suffering from health problems. Although an action-oriented, problem-solving coping style can hinder a man’s recovery from illness, it can also help him to recover and reduce his future risk.”


2 Responses to “Action Jackson”

  1. spinoza1111 Says:

    With a creative, artistic man, you have the additional problem that he’s renarrating his ordeal as if he’s among the last survivors of the Legion at Camerone, or Spaceman Spiff, who Calvin (in Calvin and Hobbes) pretends he is. This leaves almost no time for the needs of the lady of the house.

  2. spinoza1111 Says:

    If you’re a creative man beset by these problems you have to remind yourself to focus on the Now. I just took a call about plumbing, and to me at the beginning of this week, a broken faucet and crazy nuts landlord who won’t fix it were things I “didn’t need”.

    But we need these things. It’s God’s will if you like. God or Nature, the order of things, the Tao, Tian.

    I focused in the now and realized that I couldn’t make it back to my Island before my helper and the tradesman could buy what they needed to fix the faucet. I said as clearly and kindly as I could that the problem could remain unfixed. I like taking showers with cold water in a bucket (I have shut off the mains but collect cold water from the leak that remains, because the faucet’s busted).

    I need to be a Polish guy to be good relationship material. All Polish guys including a close friend know how to fix these things.

    Anyway, time to stop writing and update my to-do list. Owing perhaps to the Transit of Venus, I am pain free today.

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