Bad Day

Sang-froid on hold…according to the pathologist’s report delivered to me 25 June the lymph nodes have been destroyed and are now large and visible tumors,that may include an area below the clavicle that’s still numb after the surgery of 18 June. I am getting scared. Will this thing grow overnight and fracture my clavicle or strangle me?

I have contacted my GP because I’m getting overwhelmed by the paperwork and the Long March to and from Queen Mary.

Today was also a day of nausea because of high levels of pain medication. But when this left me on a beautiful breezy evening at the ferry pier I had again the spiritual feeling of gratitude am der Lydischen tonart, like Beethoven. Listen!

Time to eat and sleep for “this night will turn us all into fools and madmen”.


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