Queen Mary Hospital 2 August 2012

Back to QMH to unsnarl two problems: a missed CT scan appointment and a followup appointment for esophageal and upper GI review that conflicts with work tomorrow. The partial return of sciatica makes me internally whiny and morose. How does one man up if one’s on an androgen blocker? You need deeper resources than Red Bull. Oh well, I got the appointments fixed. I don’t want to have to make a trip but this is impossible to do on the phone given language problems.

I don’t think you get a “family doctor” even at Memorial Sloan Kettering, and one point of contact could be a danger since he’d miss things that a team can see. With this team approach to my cancer and that of all other patients, second opinions are free.

It’s like last year’s financial problems at HSBC where my sudden unemployment and the fraudulent failure of my company to pay a bonus resulted in a massive debt. I was delivered through the mechanism of the bank like Charlie Chaplin in the machinery in Modern Times and came out with an agreement I can live with and to which I’ve adhered to.

I believe I can free up enough time & money for a Thailand spa retreat at the end of August. Until that time it’s Hung Shing Yeh beach which is more than what a lot of sick people get.

And yes, I’m to be a grandfather, and no, I am not going back to Chicago to be present at the birth of my grandchildren. This is because I have allowed my son to define the parameters of my being a grandfather, given that I was not his custodial father. Family values? Forget family, said Lao-T’se and there will be filial love. It’s a paradox that once you force feed family, the actual love stops, so Chick Fil A can go to hell. I was a better father when non-custodial since I was no longer looking for approval to my wife and could just appreciate being a Dad.


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