Pain is agonizing and continuous until the meds kick in and of course I’ve lost my son, for which there are no painkillers, are there. It might be time to go into a hospice. I always knew it would end like this, but what I do not know is what comes after.
Celebrate the release from pain and the sunlight is my advice to myself. There is no release from the loss of my son but I can end the physical pain and also find Nepenthe in the form of sleeping aids.
The next procedure will probably improve things but then you just go back unless a miracle occurs.