25 March 2013: Fragment of an Agon

Real agony as painkiller wears off. While it is “fun” to search for new positions and new breathing patterns, I may have been downplaying the pain. I am hoping that the second round of chemo helps.

I get a base amount of morphine, which is rather high, using a patch thru doctor’s supervision and then I can ask for more. As long as the requested dosages won’t kill me they are given. I was concerned that the patch might cause an allergic reaction but it hasn’t: I even forget where the patch is. Unlike the original nicotine patch, this morphine patch is like a second skin. It delivers timed dosages of pain relief invisibly.

“Agony” is an extreme word but for me it links to tragedy where in ancient Greece it was an “agon” or goat-song.

Relaxation exercises learned from Hanoi Jane (Fonda): scrunch up your face in a frightening grimace, and then offer up your pain to all-ruling heaven and simultaneously release the face.

For butt pain do ab and butt tightening, and, to release butt pressure, gently raise yourself.


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