30 July 2013: savage pain, workout suspended

Savage pain last night (20/10) woke me up several times even tho’ I was sleeping full length. Painkiller booster every hour until I was silly on Fentanyl boosters. I don’t think I overdid it but the user of Fentanyl syrup needs to be responsible around these issues.

No step aerobics, dance aerobics or running thru 4 august. This has already created benefit.

Note that the blog post for 29 July has gone missing. It contains important content for pain logs, software development and Kant study so if you have a copy put it into a Comment anywhere on this blog.

Note on my personal policy concerning photographs of my grandchildren

A father’s children are “his” in ordinary language altho the story of Isaac and Abraham begins to deny that the father’s sons are “his”. Divorced grandfather have a special problem after thirty-odd years, in some cases, of being an emotional scapegoat and outlet as in “pow! biff! blam!, says the Piller Killer for being a dead, or Grateful Dead following white in most cases, beat in other cases as in deadbeat Grateful Dead following more-interested-than-his-TRS80-than-in-us male.

“He left us.”

“You wanted him to leave.”

“OK, there is nothing wrong with that.”

Actually, there is.

But, to stop exploring side issues and face the Now, a grandfather’s children are not automatically his in the way a grandmother’s are. By the time the children see Granma (I love the variant spellings of that word) both the seers and the Seen are needy, for medical care and financial help, but may not admit it, therefore the grandmothers and grandchildren can conspire to exclude the fierce pain of the Grandfather and recreate a false paradise of childhood when the yard went on forever and there was a birdbath.

Creating those interesting “reason not the need” conversations on the drive home. “Granny Mama and Pitcher Rick’s got a birdbath! [Again, recall what I said about the Nine Billion Names of a grandparent and note how second marriages can introduce the raffish and Damon Runyonesque name into the most genteel ‘hood] Whycum not us?” “Because I say so!!”

There it is, and you have to say so, lay down the law as it were. Might help to smash the first cut as we see Moses doing on that (according to our Holy Sisters in Catholic School) overly literal film of the Ten Commandments.

But, I digress.

I won’t publish my grand-daughters’ images on WordPress or any completely public area of the Internet, but, I do publish them on Facebook. If you like, you can “apply” to be my Facebook Friend but we’ll need some history of interaction outside WordPress, or heavy interaction inside, to avoid the wrath of FB.

I have, and will continue to, publish art based on their image which will always be respectful.

I brood! (je pense!) over a picture of little Esme Sesame!!

Oh my god those eyes (les yeux!! himmels-Augen!!: “heaven’s eyes”).

“Why doesn’t somebody just shoot me in the head? BANG!” – Hook.

I mean for the love of Mike, what would happen if my former wife, my son and grand-daughters were to just show in the way people show up for yain in hospitals when you’re punk: they float like angels, for the most part, or process servers and cops in some instances, into your field of vision “in a moment, at the twinkling of an eye”.

But again: if my family showed up by surprise
In the sea-washed world of my tearful eyes…

I’d have a FIT and might need medical attention. Xs for eyes and a sort of goofy smile.

Esme is very Perky.

Perky little Esme does her perky thang and perks up perkily at the camera. Her eyes are beautiful, like the jungle….She is Perkadelic… And, I see where my son Peter (jungly Peter) has rightfully acquired a little baby seat for her with colorful poppets that wave springily back, and forth. We know from Kant that this rich sensory input is in empirical apperception converted to a Concept such as “dem widdle junglee things what wiggle, and hit me in da nose sometime”.

PerkyEsme knows herself to be Other with respect to dem widdle junglee things for she is not Parsifal, she does not hit herself in the nose. She develops a center thereby. Parents should do many stupid things to demonstrate this for their children…ideas are on youtube, including a baby who thinks it’s a riot to tear up letters rejecting daddycucamonga’s latest job application.

Kant Study

Continues, but have no time to comment on this at this time.

In this blog I hope I have deconstructed the foolish opposition between emotion and reason. It’s a load of cod.

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