23 Aug 2013: Seht! Wohin? Auf unsre Schuld.
30 minute workout first thing (4:30 AM: should nap after breakfast.) 150 lowrise steps, walking, 50 dance moves at apogee of walk, 250 supine weight moves. No pain prior but now experiencing about 6/10, was given painkiller only after the workout.
PAIN has an element of blank;
It cannot recollect
When it began, or if there were
A day when it was not.
It has no future but itself,
Its infinite realms contain
Its past, enlightened to perceive
New periods of pain.
– Emily Dickinson
The aptly named painkiller arrives in the control room of the brain with its tools and behind the main operators’ console starts pulling out circuit boards that “feel” pain while joking with the operators about the absence of my sex life. The painkiller wears a tight-fitting uniform made of some shiny fabric with a logo of a lightning bolt through the letter P. Ha ha. Watch it, guys.
Inches from me, a Chinese wife consoles her dying husband in Cantonese.
“Seht! Wohin? Auf unsre Schuld.” In the first chorale of the St Matthew passion, it is as if the Knaben-Chor (children’s chorus) creeps giggling underneath the stage, shushing each other as the grown-ups sing “Seht! Wohin? Auf unsre Schuld”, practically shouting “Seht! Wohin? Auf unsre Schuld.” (see, where!? Behold our guilt!) and as if to comfort us, the ghosts of happy children creep giggling under the stage, shushing each other, and then dance and sing.
Don’t get me wrong. A book about the Holocaust is titled “why did the heavens not turn black”. But
When my brother said
Your son is dead
The sun kept shining in the forest of Lamma where I live.
But God said out of the whirlwind, give me a break, ED. Come on, if the day had turned gloomy you would have moaned about that!