1 Oct 2013

35 Min first thing workout at 6:15 AM: 150 warmup movements with and without weights, 150 low-riser steps, walk to base of hill containing old staff residence halls, five minute rest period, 10 midrise steps in the stairwell. Feel measurably better today.  Tumor has shrunken but unsure of what all this data entails. What would death be like? Studs Lonigan’s death in James T Farrell’s third novel of “The Studs Lonigan Trilogy?”.

Feh, bag the drama. No drunken shit is what I say; you never know. What if at death I am transported to the Palo Alto Community Center’s AA meeting with Eddie and Peter as children farting around in the sunlight, with Eddie coming to me smiling every five minutes? Huh? What what? Car has to drive: must go in the event that the children and I are invited to go.

I cluck cluck the kids into the car like a mother hen, caring rooster, the car a little Ford Escort with manual transmission and no radio. For an American a car can represent Heaven: Willy Loman, Biff and Happy simonizing his car: Eddie and Peter buckling their seatbelts with a satisfying “click”  merely because I told them to.


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